It's a first!

In St. Louis over the weekend, I had a first. For the first time ever, I've had to call bullshit on a fortune cookie. Here is the fortune:

Come back later... I am sleeping. (yes, cookies need their sleep, too)

BULLSHIT!

You know this is true because
1) Mike, Jennie, and Ben were all there. They saw it, so I have witnesses that I'm not making this shit up.
2) The punctuation is terrible. If I were making that up, I would have used good punctuation.

I consider this fortune a personal insult. I have no choice but to retaliate. They are forcing my hand. Here goes....

I'm adding China to the list of things that can suck it. You heard me China. Suck it hard. Suck it like a bitch. Suck it like your mom does.

I just totally burned China.