Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The creepiest thing about teaching 8th grade

Because I teach 8th graders and because I'm under 30, I get to have some fairly unusual experiences that most other teachers don't. It's because these kids are still kids, so they will be more likely to see a teacher as a buddy than older students will. But at the same time, they're starting to have very grown-up urges and experiences. One of the weirdest things that happens while teaching this particular age group, at least to me, is that I get boys doing what I call "practice flirting" with me.

It's exactly what it sounds like. Around two months into the school year, I start getting pick-up lines from some boys. I also get a lot of arms around my shoulders and standing too close. It's totally innocent, but

IT'S FLIPPIN' CREEPY!

Now, these boys do not have any kind of special interest in me. I'm just the young, fun teacher, so to them, I'm safe. They know I won't take it seriously and call their mom all concerned ("Mrs. Jackson, I think we have a problem with little Tony."). I'll act all serious and give them a blow-off line. Then we both laugh and they go sit down. It is all in good fun, and although it is creepy, it's also funny as shit sometimes.

Here are some things I've ACTUALLY had to say to boys:
  • Please take a few steps back. You're in my no-creepy-flirting bubble.
  • Go away. I'm married.
  • Back up offa my Kool-Aid, yo!
  • I know you want to hold my hand, but we are NOT that kind of friends.
  • You're a nice kid, but I don't like you like that.
  • And the one I had to use TODAY -- Um, I don't WANT to smell your hair. I'm just not that into you.

That last one today was the made worse, because after I said it, the kid grabbed my hand and said, "Are you sure about that?" Then he winked at me. He fucking winked at me!

Ew ew ewey ew eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!

I shook him off, and then we both just lost our shit. As yucky as an exchange like that is for me, it's just funny when it's over. So we laughed our happy asses off. Then I sent him to the bathroom. Not because I thought he needed to "cool off" *winky, winky* He had asked me to go before the whole icky icky started.

That's just one of the hazards of my job.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why couldn't i have a cool as teach like you growing up?

I mean, not that I would hit on you or anything, but just for all of the other cool shit ya do!