What does an "instructional facilitator" do?

I'm not quite sure what an instructional facilitator would do in the Holden school district. But I'll be able to tell you next year when I start MY NEW JOB.

That's right. My new job. My district has created an instructional facilitator job for the next school year. I applied in January, I interviewed yesterday, and they came to my room to tell me I got the job less than 24 hours later.

Basically, I'll be overseeing the new teachers in the district and helping them learn how to teach better. I'll also be helping experienced teachers with learning new teaching techniques and technology for their classrooms. Since it's a new position, the district acknowledges that we're not fully sure what the scope of my duties will include yet. But it will be fun, and it will be a challenge. Go me!

It runs in the family

Last night I took my brother Joe out to dinner at the local Mexican place. We got bored waiting for the check. As a responsible older sister, I made sure we did something productive and educational.

We made a ninja weapon out of butterknives and straw wrappers. Then we put salsa on it to look like blood.

Bang Bang!

Check out my new haircut. I kind of have bangs. I haven't had those in 17 years! And it only took me 2 hours after my haircut to remember why I haven't had them for 17 years. I think I've already given myself whiplash trying to keep them out of my eyes. That's okay though. They're so cute!

Pray for me

I was on the way home from running errands in Warrensburg this evening when something strange happened to me.

I heard a Miley Cyrus song on the radio.

And I loved it!

I am SO ashamed of myself.

What the hell? I'm a goddamned adult! I don't have to eat sloppy joes anymore, I have never seen High School Musical, and I know that stuff I like can be more than just uh-maay-zing.


UPDATE: I just bought that shit from iTunes. If I'm reverting like this now, I wonder how bad it's going to be when I turn 30 in August. Seriously guys, if long about June, I start commenting about how "that Zac Ephron's kinda cute," have my ass committed.

UPDATE 2: I just looked it up. I spelled Zac Efron's name wrong up there. There may be hope for me yet.

A shitty time to have dead batteries

Mike and I were at Best Buy tonight shopping for HDTVs. You'll never guess who was there, and my digicam's batteries were dead, so I can't show you the proof. I had to make a peeps, so while Mike and the salesguy were talking, I headed to the restroom. As I turned past the Geek Squad and headed past customer service to the potty, I saw her there in line. I did a seriously rude double-take when I realized who it was. I was staring straight at Cruella De Vil.

That's right.
Cruella. Fucking. De Vil.

This skinny older lady was in line. She looked wicked mean in the face. She had the crazy salt-and-pepper hair. And she was wearing a long fur coat with bare legs (I was more behind her than in front as I came at her from the side, so I don't know what was under it. Dear God, I hope she had something on). The strangest, and I think, the best, part of the outfit was the footwear. She was wearing slippers.

At that point, as I stopped and stared at her with my mouth hanging open, she turned at looked me right in the eye. At which point, I scooted to the bathroom before I could pee myself right there. By the time I came out, she was gone. If she was still there, I SO would have snuck a pic on my cell phone. Then I would have run away.

Ok, so I'm only 20, maybe 25 years late on this one

I saw Juno last night. I loved it. Who cares about messages and lessons? It flat out cracked me up.

I take that back. I did learn one lesson. Jason Bateman is hot. Why didn't anybody tell me?

I'm still trying to figure out how I missed that one back in the day.

I'm ready for a drink...and some learnin'

Another of my new favorite things right now is Drunk History on YouTube. It all started one night when a man drank a bottle of scotch, then decided to tell his friends the story of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr while those friends filmed him. They got some of their other friends, including Michael Cera, to reenact the story as told by Mr. Drunkie. It's hilarious. Since Volume 1 was so great, Volumes 2 and 2.5 have since been added, both starring Jack Black as Ben Franklin. If you haven't seen these fabulous videos, go to YouTube or FunnyOrDie and watch them.

Volume 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V_DsL1x1uY

Volume 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjZR1Rjj_p0

Volume 2.5: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/154bc4bd1b/a

Duty Free TV

G4 is running a new foreign TV block called "Duty Free TV" which includes Ninja Warrior, Unbeatable Banzuke, and Super Big Product Fun Show. Here are my reviews.

Ninja Warrior: I. Love. This. Show. It's my favorite thing on TV right now, and maybe my favorite thing ever, and maybe I'm just experiencing major writers' strike fatigue. Since I started watching the show, all I want to do is go to Japan. It's ridiculous how much I like this show, and I admit that it isn't normal. It's an awesome 4-stage obstacle course showcasing feats of strength, speed, agility, and endurance. Oh, and the screaming Japanese announcer that I mentioned in a previous post.

Unbeatable Banzuke: I've only seen this one a few times. It's like Ninja Warrior in that it has regular people competing to overcome super hard obstacles. But the show only has one obstacle at a time, not an entire obstacle course, so it's much less exciting. The obstacles are cool, but it's tedious to watch 30 people in a row take 7 steps, then fall off the same thing. Maybe it will grow on me if I see a few more episodes and some better obstacles.

Super Big Product Fun Show: This show has a 15 minute run time like Adult Swim shows do. One thing that sucks about this show is that, unlike Adult Swim shows, they put a commercial break in the middle of the 15 minutes. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing about this show that sucks. It's done like MXC, taking footage from Japanese game shows, mixing them together with a pair of frame-story hosts from another show, and making up their own English translations. The setup is that all the weird things they get from game shows are some kind of product they're reviewing. For example, a clip showed a man being put into a Space Bag, having food (?) dumped on him and then being sealed in the bag and having the air sucked out. SBPFS said it was a bag to put your drunk friends in so they couldn't puke on stuff. Like MXC, it's full of dirty jokes and puns. Unlike MXC, it sucks and it isn't funny. At all. To put it in perspective, I was talking to a student last week who happened to watch the same episode I did the night before. He said that it was retarded and he didn't finish watching it. An 8th GRADE BOY said this show was too moronic to watch for an entire 15 MINUTES.

In the past G4 has shown Banzai, a British-Japanese show involving ridiculous betting opportunities (like which drag queen is actually a woman, or which of two businessmen will put his foot in a shoe with dog poo in it), but so far, I haven't seen it in the "Duty Free" lineup. They should put it in there. It's far funnier, more entertaining, and smarter than SBPFS, dog poo included.

To sum up...
Ninja Warrior: crazy awesome
Unbeatable Banzuke: meh.
Super Big Product Fun Show: to borrow a line from Ben...DUMB!