Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
What in the hell is wrong with the TV?
In the last few weeks, I have seen some shit on TV that just shouldn't be there. Three things in particular have stood out from the crowd.
First, Sanjaya is still on Idol. I has GOT to be a Stern/Votefortheworst conspiracy. Because the little future 'mo can't sing. And they curled his hair up like a pretty pretty princess girl. He's a nice kid, but seriously!
Second, I was flipping channels on my DirecTv late last weekend when I saw in the Guide "Upcoming: Shop Erotic." I saw this and thought, "Must be lingerie. Surely they can't sell dildos on TV." I stayed up and waited out of sheer curiosity. Know what it was? They were selling dildos on TV. And automatic massaging self-masturbating penis pumps. And anal beads. And butt plugs. Butt plugs! On TV! That was what really got me. They didn't try to sugar-coat it at all. They were like "butt plugs" this and "butt plugs" that. No "recreational voluntary anal blockage device" or anything like that. I know you can say "butt plug" on TV, but Oh. My. GOD. you shouldn't! I just sat there watching with Mike, turning to him every few seconds and marvelling, "Seriously? Seriously? That's on my TV?" For those of you who are curious, they have a website with show times and channel listings.
The last cracked-out thing I saw on TV made so little sense, I wasn't sure the next day if it was real, or if I had dreamed it. Hot Pockets must have made Marijuana Hot Pockets and fed them to their advertising department. I was sitting innocently on my couch watching TV, when this commercial came on. A young man was doing sit-ups with a gym partner standing on his feet. He sits up (as is expected while doing sit-ups) and finds his gym partner replaced with an old Chinese man who looks down at him and says, "What-uh wrong wis you? You no want-uh six-uh payck. You want-uh HAAAT PAACKAYTS!" Then a web address for http://www.hotpocketsdojo.com/ pops up. You can see this commercial and many similar to it on that site, as well as sending e-cards and playing rock-paper-scissors. I had to visit the web site to make sure I hadn't halucinated the whole thing. Better hurry if you want to see it, though. I'm sure they won't last long before Asian anti-defamation groups get them pulled. They're so bad I was offended by them. It doesn't mean I didn't laugh my ass off though. I'm sure that if George Takei sees this man in a dark alley, he'll justifiably kick his ass.
First, Sanjaya is still on Idol. I has GOT to be a Stern/Votefortheworst conspiracy. Because the little future 'mo can't sing. And they curled his hair up like a pretty pretty princess girl. He's a nice kid, but seriously!
Second, I was flipping channels on my DirecTv late last weekend when I saw in the Guide "Upcoming: Shop Erotic." I saw this and thought, "Must be lingerie. Surely they can't sell dildos on TV." I stayed up and waited out of sheer curiosity. Know what it was? They were selling dildos on TV. And automatic massaging self-masturbating penis pumps. And anal beads. And butt plugs. Butt plugs! On TV! That was what really got me. They didn't try to sugar-coat it at all. They were like "butt plugs" this and "butt plugs" that. No "recreational voluntary anal blockage device" or anything like that. I know you can say "butt plug" on TV, but Oh. My. GOD. you shouldn't! I just sat there watching with Mike, turning to him every few seconds and marvelling, "Seriously? Seriously? That's on my TV?" For those of you who are curious, they have a website with show times and channel listings.
The last cracked-out thing I saw on TV made so little sense, I wasn't sure the next day if it was real, or if I had dreamed it. Hot Pockets must have made Marijuana Hot Pockets and fed them to their advertising department. I was sitting innocently on my couch watching TV, when this commercial came on. A young man was doing sit-ups with a gym partner standing on his feet. He sits up (as is expected while doing sit-ups) and finds his gym partner replaced with an old Chinese man who looks down at him and says, "What-uh wrong wis you? You no want-uh six-uh payck. You want-uh HAAAT PAACKAYTS!" Then a web address for http://www.hotpocketsdojo.com/ pops up. You can see this commercial and many similar to it on that site, as well as sending e-cards and playing rock-paper-scissors. I had to visit the web site to make sure I hadn't halucinated the whole thing. Better hurry if you want to see it, though. I'm sure they won't last long before Asian anti-defamation groups get them pulled. They're so bad I was offended by them. It doesn't mean I didn't laugh my ass off though. I'm sure that if George Takei sees this man in a dark alley, he'll justifiably kick his ass.
Monday, March 12, 2007
I'm a big girl now!
Know how I know I'm a grown-up?
I'm happy DST got here because I get to spend more time during daylight hours. I used to whine and moan for a week and a half that the government stole an hour of my sleep. Now, I'm like, "Ooooh! Sunshine! This is a great idea."
I'm happy DST got here because I get to spend more time during daylight hours. I used to whine and moan for a week and a half that the government stole an hour of my sleep. Now, I'm like, "Ooooh! Sunshine! This is a great idea."
Monday, March 5, 2007
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