Dr. Mario...

can suck my balls.

He ain't even a real doctor anyway.

Pick a new word!

Listen up, people! It's time for a new word.

I know you all know it and love it. It's like an old familiar friend you can always count on to come to the party with you. But your friend isn't fun anymore. Your friend brings nothing to the party. Your friend is unwelcome. Your friend has BO. "Amazing" is over! "Amazing" is played out! Pick a new word. Find a new friend.

You know a word is overused when you have to find new ways to pronounce it and stretch it out so that it sounds less boring. Don't think that it's suddenly a new word just because you pronounce the word like this:
This song is (pause) uh..MAAAYzing.

I don't care what you use. You can even go back the most played out A-words of years past ("awesome" and "actually," in case you didn't know). But it's time to face it--describing everything as "amazing," especially things that are decidedly NOT amazing, just makes you look stupid.

Just call me stumpy.

My two coolest Christmas gifts:
1. My new video camera I got from my wonderful husband.
2. My 10-inch compound miter saw from my dad. Dad also wisely threw in a bag full of shop towels and duct tape, so when I cut off a finger, I can make myself what I like to call a "mandaid"--paper towel held on with duct tape.

I have such wonderful people in my life.

My New Christmas Desktop

Someone's on the verge of being on the suck it list

Dammit, Al Gore, fix your internet! Blogger's broken.

It's really hard for me to reply to any of my comments or to leave comments on other Blogger blogs. Since I signed up for my own account, I keep getting a broken image where the word verification is supposed to be. I managed to leave Jennie a comment the other day after about 10 minutes of refreshing and error messages because it thought that the letters I typed, while they DID match the few word verifications that popped up, did not match the word verification. I only managed to reply to a comment on my own blog by going into my settings, getting rid of word verification, replying, then turning it back on.

So, Jennie---boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. I'm sure you've seen the video remix.

Freedom!

Christmas vacation, bitches :D

I'm SO the winner!

We had our annual Christmas door decorating contest at school this year. We have it every year, and the same woman always wins. Her room is on a corner, so she has three times as much space to decorate as everyone else. Everyone just assumes her advisory will win and shoots for 2nd place.

This year, my advisory came up with an absolutely hilarious idea. "Let's do Disco Santa!" one girl said. "We can make him a white afro out of cotton balls." I laughed at it and asked for more ideas to decide on. The same girl spoke up again. "But we could also use cotton balls to make him white chest hair," she said.

"Sold!" I said. "We're SO doing that!" Santa with chest hair just cracked my shit up hard. So we worked really hard during advisory for the last few weeks making the pieces. We worked when we were supposed to (during our 20 minutes of advisory four days a week and after school). Meanwhile, the woman who always wins and her advisory TOTALLY cheated--more on that in a minute.

Here are some pictures of my advisory's door:

Yeah, that's a metallic irridescent disco fringe curtain in front and a spinning disco light on the left.

This is a close-up of Santa

You can't really tell because of the flash, but I used several colors of chalk to make him "cracker" white, as opposed to "paper" white, which was a huge concern of my advisory.

And finally, my favorite, Santa's Sleigh, a 1972 El Camino.

After all this work and creativity, my advisory got 2nd place. We "lost" to the cheater woman who always wins. You all know me. I'm not competetive. I'm a stickler for rules and good sportsmanship, but if I do my best and play by the rules, I'm happy with the outcome. But I was pissed that we lost. If she hadn't cheated, I would have been fine, like I have for all the other years she's won. But this woman had kids out working on their door during class. For one day, that's not too bad. But she had two girls out in the hall for the entire class period EIGHT days in a row. And her door was not fun or creative. Just big.

So I told my advisory that we didn't cheat and we are the real winners. Which, while petty, is still pretty good considering that in my head I had a running monologue of "Fuck that! We motherfucking won! Let's burn this bitch down."