Mamma Mia!

For a while now, I've hated going to the movies. There's always someone talking through the movie, or the person behind me is coughing and hacking, or cell phones keep ringing. Hell, Mike and I saw The Dark Knight Sunday, and this couple brought their damn baby (EDIT: I realize that what I should have said here is, "This damn idiot couple brought their poor helpless baby!"). To a loud, scary movie! And they sat RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Luckily for me, the sound was cranked up about as loud as it could go, so I could only hear the crying baby during the few quiet parts.

As much as I've hated going to the movies, I've been to see Mamma Mia! twice, and I would go again. It's a cheesy movie with a predictable plot, but I love it anyway. First, it's full of Abba songs, so every other aspect of the movie could be pure goat shit and I'd still love it anyway. Second, Christine Baranski is in it. She's like Jennifer Coolidge. No matter what she's in, she's hilarious, and she steals the show. I'll see anything she's in. Third, the mother-daughter relationship is positive. These characters really do seem to love and support each other. I've always been a mama's girl, so I'm a sucker for that stuff.

But the strangest reason I loved this movie is Meryl Streep's 59-year-old boobs. They're just out there on display as if she's a woman half her age or less. And they look fabulous! And it's normal! It's not a Stiffler's-mom moment where the audience is told, "Damn, look at those smokin' boobs on that old lady!" They're just there, like any other ta-tas. (EDIT #2: I should also make it clear that Meryl Streep doesn't show off her bare breasts or anything. She just showed really good cleavage.)

It makes my inner raging feminist so proud to be able to see a movie starring not one, but THREE women in their fifties who are strong and fiesty and alive. Yes, they're in their fifties and their lives aren't over! They still get to be main characters and love interests and even objects of lust. But the movie never has that Fried Green Tomatoes feel of middle-aged women recapturing something they've lost. Meryl Streep, Christine Baranski, and Julie Walters were all great.

I highly recommend you go see it. If you see it with your mom, you might cry. I saw it without my mom, and I still cried. Both times. There's good music, pretty scenery, good boobs, a positive message about women getting older, and another positive message that growing up to be like your mother just might not be a bad thing after all.

Plus there are some kick-ass boots. You'll know which ones I'm talking about when you see it.

What's so funny?

I've been doing some serious thinking this summer about what I think is funny. What makes good comedy? What truly makes me laugh? After much consideration, I have learned something about myself. This is what I have learned:

The term "D-bag" is WAAAAY funnier than "douchebag."

I'm a bitch!

Famed author Janet Evanovich says so!

A group of teachers who read and love Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series decided to take a road trip to Omaha this week for a book signing. Since they are all educators, and therefore, batshit crazy, they decided to dress as characters. Now, I have not read any of these books, but the trip sounded like a hell of a lot of fun, so I went along for the ride. The others gave me two character choices: Sally Sweet, a tranvestite rock star, or Joyce Barnhardt, Stephanie Plum's rival stole her husband and dresses in all black. Since you all know me, you know my choice. Hell yes, tranny rock star! However, after much searching, I still can't find my hot tranny skirt (you all know I have one), so I decided to go as Joyce instead. I can pull off all black really easily, but I won't half-ass a tranny costume.

I show up dressed all in black, and I knew that maybe I'd been set up. We were waiting in the seriously long line, and we drew quite a crowd of Omahanians who wanted pictures of our costumed group. As we'd all gather round for pictures, I'd hear comments like, "I can't believe she came as Joyce!" and "Joyce isn't slutty enough." We finally, after over 3 hours in line at Borders, got up to meet Janet Evanovich. She looked at my nametag, and said "Oh! You're the bitch!" To which I replied, "Oh, you've met me?"

So there you have it. A popular and acclaimed author called me a bitch. I LOVE it! Here are some pictures of the trip.

We have Sally as The Chip Lady, Penny as Stephanie Plum, Robin as Connie, Janet Evanovich, Goldie as Lula (middle-aged former ho), Linda as Grandma, and me as Joyce.

This one is just Janet and me, after she called me a bitch.

You can read more about our adventures on Goldie's blog here http://news4family.blogspot.com/

Like, No. Way.

http://music.msn.com/music/blockwatch?GT1=7702&silentchk=1&

I am SO recording that.

Baseball Season!

Royals win!

I bought myself a pink baseball glove to celebrate.

I love my job

Last week, I had a kid walk up to me in the hallway and hold up a PSP where I could see it. I told him that, per school rule, he couldn't have that out during the school day and he needed to put it up.

"No," he said, "I'm not trying to play it. I want you to take it. I got God of War: Chains of Olympus last week, and I already beat it twice over the weekend. I know you don't have a PSP, so I brought you mine so you could play it."

I love that my students and I can talk about video games and things like that, and they'll respond by wanting to play them with me. They want me to like the games they like. They want to talk to me about games, get my opinions, ask me what else is cool, and tell me that they think is cool. I have such influence over these kids, it's shocking.

BTW, I played Chains of Olympus until the PSP lost its charge. SWEET! Now I want a PSP.

An open letter

Dear guy who's too dumb to read the directional arrows in a parking lot,

You are a special kind of illiterate, and there is a special place in illiterate hell waiting for you and your kind.

Love,
Morgan